quarta-feira, 3 de dezembro de 2008

How To Write A Parody

Do you know those stories where one person writes, like, a sentence or two and then folds over the paper, and tells the next person the last couple of words and then the next person writes some more and then the next person and so on? Well here are a collection of stories like those, written at school over the last two years by me and my friends. I should acknowledge all those who contributed, so here goes: Me, Paty, Nisa, Patrice, Liz.

Let's begin...

Part 1 Tales of a boring English class
Once upon a twice there was a purple turtle who was hyperactive and liked to eat big gooey lumps of...
Pineapple flavoured cream donuts, but that wasn’t cream in there or was it? Paty dared Sara to find out if it was cream or not and it turned out to be...
A very, very, excessively huge, gigantic, extremely large, humongous, ginormous, big whopper of a...
Burger, tofu and lettuce. “Yuk!” said Liz who was a carnivore big time. She particularly liked eating human flesh, (especially cute boys) and...
Bits of fried chicken attached with super glue. Patrice didn’t notice all of this because she was flying through the sky on a broomstick screaming, “I am such a...
Angel disguised as a normal regular horny female teenager” whose job was to find the perfect...
Shoes to wear that would always match whatever else you were wearing because they were magic shoes made by the witch...
Sara who appeared from nowhere and suddenly it occurred to Liz and Nisa that Sara wasn’t a witch but she really was a wicked French person, eating a chocolate and butter sandwich...
But before the sandwich could be eaten, it was snatched up by Paty because she was very hungry, so hungry she could eat a...
English school book whole in one go, no one knows why or how, but this seemed humanly possible for her anyway.

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Part 2 Tales of a boring English class continued
Once upon a time in a far off land there was...
An angular acceleration of 5.91 *10^-3 ms^-2 heading straight towards...
Nisa who was coated in chocolate, marshmallows, chips and...
Strawberry-flavoured teabags that Liz was smoking because she wanted to get high and run around screaming...
“Help, help, I’m being chased by a fluffy pink duckling called Patrice...”
who was sitting in the English room next to Nisa, who was a big giant prickly...
Cactus, which had grown legs and arms but could only catch people and not move around which was good because...
It was at the Disco ABS where everyone was jumping up and down and screaming at the music/cute boys and then suddenly jumped on a table and said...
“Oh my honey let’s run away and get married!” “No!” I cried, “You’re not my...
Teddy bear”, because it’s little and brown and as fluffy as a bunny rabbit.

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Part 3 World Destruction English class style

Nisa who is a big fat purple hairy pidgeon who was trying to take over the world...
That was made of Parmesan cheese, and in that world lived a huge, pineapple- flavoured...
dinosaur called Paty appeared and crushed all of the...
Planets were in line and suddendly caused Sara to see a pack of wild...
Broomsticks which came out of Hogwarts and on one of them was Harry Potter and Severus Snape which were racing...
Down the street when she saw Liz wearing a green, stripy...
Tiger which was made of chocolate with a strawberry filling...
Patrice that was rotating around her head. Suddenly a tribe of killer cockroaches blew up the world and everyone said, “Oh shit I’m dead. I feel like...
Like eating a entire crocodile in one gulp. Suddenly a flock of fluorescent yellow pidgeons flew into a power pole and electrocuted themselves to death. The end.

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